Episode 131: Thriving as a Mom When Your Kids Leave the Nest—with Pamela Henkelman
Can you still hear the beat of “Pomp and Circumstance” from the day your child crossed the graduation stage? For so many parents, this milestone signifies a big life transition—not only for their child, but for themselves, too. For the child, they’re flying the nest and entering the real world for the first time. For the parent, they will be entering (or approaching) the empty nest season of life.
If you are going through this today, I know you are very excited for what this next chapter holds for your child. But you may also be wondering how to keep your life and heart full when your nest is empty.
If you are feeling overwhelmed with the changes in your family life right now, or you are struggling inside with the realities of your child leaving home, this is a conversation you won’t want to miss.
Our guest is here to help prepare our hearts to thrive in our empty nest season of life. Pamela Henkelman is a speaker, writer, podcast host, and a Certified Empty Nest Coach. She helps Christian moms let go with grace, strengthen their marriages, and rediscover their God-given purpose in the empty nest chapter of life.
In this episode, Pamela shares:
- What happens in this role shift from directing to supporting
- How to navigate grief during this transition
- How you can recapture your sense of personal identity
- And more!
We hope you enjoy this conversation!
Links:
Our Takeaways:
1) It’s normal to experience grief. Feelings of grief at our child leaving are completely normal during this time and are sometimes referred to as “transitional grief.” It’s the mourning of what once was coming to an end, and the new normal not yet being defined or known. While it’s normal to feel grief, remember that we aren’t meant to stay there forever. We are meant to grieve with purpose, but also trust that the Lord will get us through to our new normal.
2) Get curious about our adult children. Your role is no longer to “fix” the problems your child faces. Instead, our role is to empathize with them and to ask good questions about the issue they are facing. Another thing that Pamela recommends is to start utilizing the phrase “no pressure.” This allows our children to have the freedom to say no to an invitation or advice when we offer it. We can recognize that our children may have their own ideas, priorities, and obligations that may not line up with our own.
3) Reinvest in your marriage and yourself. For 18 years, your primary identity has been “Mom.” Now is the time to rediscover your passions, strengths, and interests, both on your own and with your spouse. Now that you have one less child in the house, that time and those resources can go toward enjoying new hobbies and date nights with your spouse.
Meet Our Guest
Pamela Henkelman is a speaker, writer, podcast host, and a Certified Empty Nest Coach. She helps Christian moms let go with grace, strengthen their marriages, and rediscover their God-given purpose in the empty nest. Pamela is the mom to a rowdy bunch of five adult children and four grandchildren. She describes herself as a big sister who is just a little further down the road from you.
