Episode 130: Trusting God When Your Heart Breaks for Your Child—with Lori Schumaker
As parents, we hurt when our children hurt. From those first cries during sleepless nights to the more complex struggles of adolescence and beyond, our hearts tend to ache right alongside theirs.
Whether you’re watching your child struggle with bullying at school, battling an eating disorder, or walking through a mental health crisis, their pain can leave you feeling overwhelmed, afraid, or unsure of how to help. When someone you love so deeply is hurting, it’s natural to wish you could take the pain away yourself.
In this episode, I’m having a mom-to-mom conversation about this tender topic: the heartbreak we parents carry for our kids.
My guest knows exactly what it’s like to experience those intense emotions on behalf of our children. Lori Schumaker is a Certified Life and Mental Health Coach, speaker, and author with over 20 years of ministry experience. She is also a mother whose journey of adopting and parenting a daughter with special needs has brought her to a place of trust and surrender to God. I hope her story will encourage you!
In this episode, Lori shares:
- The vital practice of releasing control to God
- Why we should prioritize our personal healing
- How to stay connected with your spouse through the challenges
- And more!
We hope this conversation ministers to you!
Links:
- [BOOK] Surrendered Hearts: An Adoption Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Trust
- Connect with Lori on her website, Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn
Our Takeaways:
1) Relinquish control. As parents, we want to step in, solve the problem, or remove whatever is harming our child. However, our role is not to control every aspect of their lives, nor are we always capable of resolving their hurt. Take some time now to write down a few areas where you feel the urge to control factors in your child’s life. Rather than acting on those urges, take some time to pray over them. Pray for God to move in their lives and to show you how best to show up for your child. Pray that He would control the outcome as only He can.
2) Grieve the loss of what you hoped for your child. Part of what is so difficult about heartbreak for your child is it’s often paired with the death of a dream you carried for them. This is especially true for our adult children. It could be that they will no longer live nearby, that they got passed up for their dream job, they’re are pursuing a toxic relationship, or even that they are turning away from the faith you once shared. Give yourself space to process the loss of your expectations for your child.
3) Affirm that your child’s value and worth lie outside of their circumstances. It’s important that we explain to our child that the source of their self-worth is not tied to the hardship they are currently going through. In this life, we will encounter many things that will cause stress, worry, and hardship. But despite all of those, we can persevere knowing that God remains in control and we have value as His precious child. Just like you, God’s heart breaks for your child, and He can bring them peace.
Meet Our Guest
Lori Schumaker is a Certified Christian Life and Mental Health Coach with a Master’s in Education and over two decades of ministry experience. Lori has a deep conviction to help women break free from the fears, wounds, and weight of whatever life has handed them so they can move forward with genuine hope. She is a mom to two biological sons and one adopted, special needs daughter. In her book, Surrendered Hearts, Lori shares the journey, hurdles, and heartache her family had to overcome as they welcomed their adoptive daughter.
