While we love each other very much, marriage is not always easy. Joanna and I are in this for the long haul, but it isn’t easy for two imperfect people to stay close, connected, and happy for a lifetime. Maybe you are feeling this struggle in your marriage today. Your spouse’s habits are making you crazy or you may not be feeling cared for or you are constantly in conflict that drives a wedge between you.
The topic we are going to talk about in this episode is how can we keep showing up instead of giving up in our marriages. Karen Ehman is here to help us discuss this! Karen is a New York Times bestselling author, a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, and a writer for Encouragement for Today. She knows the joys and challenges of marriage and how, with God’s help, love can last.
Karen shares with us:
- How to respond when your spouse’s weaknesses are showing
- The importance of being on the same team
- Practical ways you can express your needs to your spouse
- And more!
We hope you enjoy this conversation!
- Keep Showing Up: How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy
- Connect with Karen on Instagram, Facebook, or her website
- Karen’s Freebies
1) Be interested in your spouse. We can tend to focus on bringing up all the ways our spouse needs to change and “fix” themselves. But instead of doing that, make a habit of asking them how you can pray, support, and help them to fulfill their dreams. They may already be working on some of the habits that bother you. But even if they are not, we cannot be the Holy Spirit for other people. Our job as a spouse is to support and encourage our spouse and leave the rest up to God.
2) Don’t transfer your frustration to your spouse. This can be our default when we are in times of stress. Whether we are in the heat of raising kids, experiencing financial troubles, or just the regular stress of life, it’s easy to turn your frustration and anger toward your spouse. Rather than viewing them as the enemy, we need to remind each other that we are on the same team! Rob and I like to do this by pausing and saying to one another “We are on the same team. You are not my enemy.”
3) Be realistic about your needs. It is unrealistic to expect your spouse to meet a need that we should be talking to God. Before we take our needs to our spouse, we need to spend some time assessing if our need is realistic. And sometimes perceived need may actually be a preference. It’s alright to still express your preferences to your spouse, but be willing to compromise on them as they aren’t really needs.
Meet Our Guest
Karen Ehman is a New York Times bestselling author, a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, and a writer for Encouragement for Today, an online devotional that reaches over four million women daily. She knows the joys and challenges of marriage and how, with God’s help, love can last. Karen is married to her college sweetheart, Todd, and is the mother of five—three biological kids and two by marriage—although she forgets which ones are which. She spends her days feeding the many people who gather around her mid-century dining table to process life and enjoy a taste of Mama Karen’s cooking.