Episode 111: How to Win the Battle Against Mom Guilt and Shame—with Jodi Jackson Tucker
One of the hardest moments I (Joanna) can remember as a mom is when our six-year-old daughter refused, to the point of tears, to wear her blue pants with a butterfly on the pocket. Thinking she was just being stubborn, I refused to back down—and it wasn’t until two hours later that I finally gave up on trying to convince her.
Well, a few months later, I learned that our daughter has a significant sensory processing disorder. Those pants that I was so determined for her to wear were actually causing her very real physical pain. In my determination to prove my authority, I was not just hurting my daughter’s spirit, but her body as well.
This is just one of countless examples I could give of how we can parent with the best intentions but still make mistakes. When this happens, shame can wash over us, polarizing our relationships and overwhelming us with despair. If you are struggling with guilt and shame today, I am so happy to be able to introduce you to this episode’s guest, Jodi Jackson Tucker.
Jodi is a biological, foster, and adoptive mother to eight children with her husband, Jerry. She is a sought-after speaker, ministry leader, and the author of Healing for Every Heart in Adoption. Jodi knows what it’s like to battle and overcome feelings of guilt or thoughts that she is simply not enough.
In this episode, Jodi shares:
- How false beliefs can shake our confidence
- The role of prayer in our parenting
- A mom’s truest job description
- And much more!
Mom guilt is something every woman will experience at some point in her parenting journey. I hope Jodi’s insights will encourage and help you navigate those feelings. Enjoy!
Links:
- [BOOK] Healing For Every Heart in Adoption
- Connect with Jodi on her website, Facebook, or Instagram
Our Takeaways:
1) False beliefs take root in seasons of uncertainty. There is no manual you received when your child entered this world. As parents, we are always trying our best to figure things out, but in spite of our best efforts, we are bound to make countless mistakes along the way. It is when we are in these seasons of uncertainty that guilt and shame can often take root. This could be when a foster or adoptive child first arrives in your home, when your biological child is having a tough time at school, or even when you hit those dreaded teenage years and you just can’t seem to get out of a cycle of conflict with your child. When you’re walking through these moments of uncertainty, don’t let your mind trick you into believing you’re a bad parent—stumbling and learning along the way are integral parts of the parenting journey.
2) Start at a place of relying on Jesus. Does this sound familiar? You’ve frantically looked through all the parenting books and scoured the internet to find out how to parent your child in this particular moment—whatever the struggle you’re facing that day might be. Then, when everything you’ve tried has failed and you have nowhere else to turn, you turn to Jesus in prayer. This is a common pattern we can fall into as parents. But what if instead of using prayer as a last resort, we started with it? He is there with us through our hills and valleys. Jesus cares about our parenting questions and concerns. Let’s make a habit of going to him in prayer from the very beginning.
3) Hold tightly to the promises of God. There is much uncertainty in this life. Even if we parent “perfectly”, there is no guarantee that our children will grow up to love and serve God. When we feel the weight of shame and guilt creep in, we need to cling to the promises of God—he will never leave us or forsake us, he cares for our children more than we do, and the Word of the Lord will not return empty. Even if our adult children turn from God, we can trust that he is still working in their hearts.
Meet Our Guest
Jodi Jackson Tucker is a biological, foster, and adoptive mother to eight children with her husband, Jerry. She is a sought-after speaker, ministry leader, and the author of Healing for Every Heart in Adoption. Jodi served twelve years as Global Director of Orphan Sunday for the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) and is a Certified Chaplain. She is the president of Second Mothers, a nonprofit devoted to supporting women of faith worldwide who have answered the call to care for a child born to another.
