Episode 103: How to Talk About Sexuality with Your Kids—with Jim Burns
When Joanna was in fifth grade, her teacher passed out a pamphlet to everyone in the class. On that pamphlet were all kinds of topics about puberty and sex, and it had a phone number that you could call to listen to pre-recorded information on every subject. In all honesty, there were lots of terms and phrases on that pamphlet that she had never heard of before!
This led to Joanna’s mom giving her “The Talk.” If you remember back to your own “talk”, your parents may have been open, honest, and informative; or maybe they felt awkward, and you walked away with more questions than answers. Now that you are a parent, you may be wishing for some sort of manual or coach to lead the way as you prepare to broach this topic with your own children.
That’s why we are so happy to welcome back Jim Burns to the show. Jim is the president of HomeWord, an amazing ministry that equips parents to build God-honoring families for generations. He’s also the author of several books, including his latest, A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body. This book tackles the sensitive issues of sexuality for kids in today’s confusing culture.
In this episode, Jim shares :
- Why it’s important to have more than one “Talk”
- How to overcome the barriers around starting these conversations
- Practical tips for helping our kids navigate sexuality
- And much more!
We hope this episode is a helpful resource as you navigate the discussion on sexuality!
Links:
- [BOOK] A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body
- Episode 99: How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Adult Child—with Jim Burns
- [BOOK] Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World
- ONLINE COURSE: A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity
- [BOOK] Powerful Prayers for Your Son: Praying for Every Part of His Life
- [BOOK] Powerful Prayers for Your Daughter: Praying for Every Part of Her Life
- Connect with Jim on his website, Instagram, or Facebook
Our Takeaways:
1) Have conversations about sexuality early. It’s important to have conversations about sexuality early with your children in age-appropriate ways. Studies show that children are being exposed to “soft porn” content as early as eight years old. As parents, we can’t afford to avoid topics that make us uncomfortable as children today have more access to mature images and content online than ever before. By having conversations early and in age-appropriate ways, we are establishing that we are a safe person to come to for answers.
2) Approach the topic of sexuality with intentionality. Take some time to sit down with your spouse and plan out what conversations you would like to have with each of your children in the next six months. This doesn’t mean you have to schedule an exact time to do this, but be on the lookout for natural opportunities for these topics to come up. Once you have your list, spend some time praying over it and ask that God would bring up the opportunity to talk with your child about each one. You may want to spend some time researching Scripture and other helpful resources so that when the time comes, you are well-prepared.
3) Teach your children discernment, not just restrictions. The goal is to train your children on how to exercise discernment so that when the day comes when you aren’t there, they know how to make a wise choice. You can start developing this by asking questions like, “What do you think about that?” and “Do you remember what Scripture tells us about this?” Remember, there are many voices in culture and they are constantly changing; however, God’s Word never changes. We can teach our children to put their trust in Him.
Meet Our Guest
Jim Burns is an author, speaker, and president of HomeWord, a ministry that seeks to advance the work of God in the world by educating, equipping, and encouraging parents and churches to build God-honoring families. He primarily writes and speaks on the values of HomeWord—strong marriages, confident parents, empowered kids, and healthy leaders. Jim and his wife, Cathy, reside in Southern California and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren.
