Episode 97: Building a Strong and Loving Christian Marriage—with Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn
We got married when we were pretty young after we met at Bible college. Needless to say, we had a lot of lofty ideas about what our Christian marriage would look like. We thought we would never argue, never lose our temper, keep the romance alive all the time, and always put each other first.
While we meant every word of our vows and we have stayed committed for over 30 years, we did not anticipate that we both entered our marriage with a sinful nature and would fail to love well at times. We’ve said words that have hurt each other deeply and haven’t always been there when we needed each other the most.
Looking back, we wish we had started with a more solid foundation of what God’s design for marriage truly looks like. That’s why we are glad to welcome Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn. They are authors of Gospel-Shaped Marriage: Grace for Sinners to Love Like Saints. If you need fresh hope and vision for your relationship today, this is the place to be!
In this episode, Chad & Emily share with us:
- How God uses marriage to grow us
- The source of true happiness in marriage
- How your spouse has been uniquely designed to love you
- And much more!
We hope this episode strengthens your relationship!
Links:
Our Takeaways:
1) The source of happiness is the Lord. We often turn to our spouse to find happiness in our marriage. Whether they are following the Lord, loving us well, and creating the life we long to have together. However, our source of happiness in marriage should come from the Lord. Rather than trying to please our spouse, we need to start by asking, How can I lean on the Lord to find satisfaction? How can I support my spouse in going to the Lord for their satisfaction?
2) Sanctification is a process. God made marriage in part to grow us as individuals and as a couple. This sanctifying work takes time. Our sinful, selfish nature will not disappear with a snap of our fingers. We can’t expect our spouse to be perfect nor will our issues disappear overnight. We have to give each other grace as we grow and work through this process of sanctification together.
3) Think radically about your marriage. Instead of thinking about how your marriage benefits you, consider how you can best serve your spouse. This sacrificial love is what ultimately points us back to our Heavenly Father. This kind of love is not self-seeking or self-serving but looks to how you can serve your spouse and grow toward Christ together.
Meet Our Guests
Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn are the husband and wife co-authors of Gospel-Shaped Marriage: Grace for Sinners to Love Like Saints. Chad is a professor of church history at Westminster Theological Seminary and a former pastor in the United Kingdom and Virginia. Emily is a stay-at-home mom who leads and loves Bible studies and women’s retreats. They have been married for over 25 years and have five children together.
