Episode 65: Raise and Release: How to Prepare for Your Kids to Leave the Nest—with Brenda Yoder

February 14, 2023

Rob & Joanna Teigen

In this episode, we are going to discuss a stage of parenting that isn’t talked about as much. It’s what is known as the “messy middle” of parenting, where your kids are preparing to leave the nest for good. The questions and situations you have to deal with as your children start to assert their independence can be quite challenging.

We are excited to have Brenda Yoder with us to discuss how we can prepare our hearts and our homes for our kids to leave the nest. Brenda is the author of Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind, a mom, speaker, podcaster, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and life coach who gives biblical wisdom to parents who want to launch their children well.

Brenda shares with us:

  • The reality of “mom grief”
  • How to be kid-led in your parenting
  • Preparing your own heart for shifting your role
  • And more!

We hope you enjoy this conversation!



Our Takeaways:

1) Letting go is actually an act of submission and humility. When our children are first born, they depend on us for everything. As they grow up, it can be hard to let go of that control. However, when our children are teenagers and head away to college, we have to entrust God to care for them. Letting go of control is actually an act of submission to God. We are recognizing that God is the one who is in control of their lives from the direction He is calling them to all the things He will allow into their lives – both the good and the difficult.

2) Make a habit of building your children’s confidence. Your children develop their strengths while they are in your care. We can help them develop a sense of their abilities while they still benefit from our safety net. It’s through testing their abilities and building confidence that helps them leave the nest. You can do this by encouraging them to do hard things or teaching them skills they will need once they are independent adults.

3) Seek your own safe place. Our children need to know they can come to us and share what they are struggling with or when they make mistakes. In order for them to feel safe doing that, we need to avoid jumping down their throats and shaming them. This may mean that you need to have a good poker face from time to time. This is why it is so important to make sure you have your own safe place to bring concerns, receive support, and work through your own reactions.

Meet Our Guest

Brenda Yoder

Brenda Yoder

Brenda Yoder is a national speaker, author, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, podcaster, and life coach whose passion is giving biblical wisdom to parents who want to launch their children well. Brenda is also a former teacher and school counselor and was twice awarded the Touchstone Award. In her book, Fledge, she offers a personal handbook for parents who are in the season of raising and releasing kids. Brenda is a wife and mom of four children, ranging from college students to adults, and lives on a farm in Indiana.


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