Episode 118: God’s Loving Path to Closeness in Your Marriage—with Bill and Kristi Gaultiere
Do you ever struggle to bridge the gap between your hearts in your marriage? Does deep connection feel always out of reach?
Whether in your marriage, your relationship with your kids, or even with an old friend, many of us can feel at a loss for how to express our care and empathy for the people we love.
And when we’re overwhelmed or hurting, we end up hiding the pain we feel inside. We settle for shallow relationships because we’re afraid to be truly vulnerable with another person.
The good news is, we can strengthen our empathy and ability to connect—and it all begins with seeing the depth of God’s care and understanding for us. But it doesn’t happen overnight. This is something that takes mindful, intentional work to develop.
Our guests, Bill and Kristi Gaultiere, are here to help. Bill and Kristi have been counseling and ministering for 30 years. Together, they founded Soul Shepherding, a nonprofit ministry that helps believers discover their next steps toward emotional health, loving relationships, and intimacy with Jesus.
In this episode, Bill and Kristi share:
- The four A’s of empathy
- Bible-based empathy practices to affirm that you are deeply loved by Jesus
- Ways to grow in self-empathy and calm emotional triggers
- And much more!
We hope you enjoy this conversation!
Links:
- [BOOK] Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God’s Great Empathy for You
- Soul Talks podcast
- Connect with Bill and Kristi on their website, Facebook, or Instagram
Our Takeaways:
1) Empathy is how we listen, care, and pray for one another. Simply defined, empathy is how we seek to understand someone else’s emotions, thoughts, and experiences. This is especially important for building a deeper understanding of your spouse, helping them feel well cared for, and expressing your love for them. Empathy is feeling with and for people, both in good times and bad.
2) Take the time to learn the language of emotions. For many of us, naming emotions doesn’t come naturally. It could be that this wasn’t taught to us in childhood, or we may just lean more toward thinking logically about the world. Utilizing practices such as journaling, talking with your spouse about what you and they are feeling, and learning about how each emotion affects us personally can help us get more comfortable with sitting honestly with our emotions.
3) Admit your frustrations and struggles. When we feel frustrated or misunderstood, especially during a conflict, it’s important to adopt an invitational posture. This can look like inviting your spouse to understand what you are experiencing so they can help you to grow. And the beauty of this is that it goes both ways! You can also ask your spouse to help you understand what they are experiencing in the moment and what emotions it brings up for them.
Meet Our Guests
Bill and Kristi Gaultiere are the founders of Soul Shepherding, a nonprofit ministry dedicated to helping believers discover their next steps in growing in intimacy with Jesus, cultivating emotional health, and nurturing loving relationships. They are also the authors of several books and have been counseling as well as ministering to people for 30 years. Bill is a psychologist, and Kristi is a marriage and family therapist. In their latest book, Deeply Loved, they explain how developing empathy is the key to healthier emotions and relationships.
